Tom Brady voted sexiest professional football player alive (again). Closer to home it was announced Sam Bradford had won the sexiest starting professional football QB in St Louis Award. We could have said the sexiest professional football QB in St Louis, but isn’t that just another way of saying Kellen Clemens is ugly?
For the first time in many years Rams cheerleaders were not over heard saying they were glad it was the post season so they could root for a good team. Although some of them thought it. You know who you are.
Sports media asked Jeff Fisher how deep the SF 49ers would go in the playoffs. Fisher responded, “not far.” When asked to elaborate he said, “well, we beat them.”
Baltimore Ravens linebacker Ray Lewis , known for his high energy and exuberant dance celebrations, has retired. After years of tireless commitment to the sport he says he is looking forward to quieter times. Lewis plans to take over the role of Madea from the Tyler Perry franchise and teach at risk female youth the beauty, power, and discipline of synchronized swimming.
When RG3 was asked about his recent knee injury he replied, “It’s bad; real bad. I’d rather eat linoleum with a pitch fork.” Redskins medical staff thinks me might have a concussion too.
Andy Reid, head coach of the struggling Philadelphia Eagles has been fired. And as quickly as he was fired he was hired by the extremely sucky Kansas City Chiefs. Reid was met at the Kansas City airport terminal by mental health professionals and taken into custody. He is being held for 72 hours and is on suicide watch.
This just in… professional football is cool. In related news, there is a huge spike in men doing girly things with their girl friends immediately after the ending of the Super Bowl.
NEWS FLASH… a huge annual spike in the sale of Chamomile tea occurs in Februarys. It appears that after a month of doing girly things, men forget men don’t drink Chamomile tea.
When Aaron Rodgers was asked about being sacked more times than any other QB in the NFL in 2012 he mumbled, “yeah, ummm…. football (a goofy smile on his face) mvp… ouch…. hit hard, mom…” His PR rep was unavailable for comment because she was off looking for a Kleenex as Rodgers had proudly begun to display a huge booger at the end of his index finger.