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As the High School Turns (A Metaphor)

It’s the summer of your senior year of high school in your local St. Louis area school, and your girlfriend just moved off to college in Cleveland.  You both decided it was better to break up than attempt a long distance relationship.  You have both tried to move on, but you have always had that nagging suspicion that you could do better.  You could have a hotter girlfriend that would be able to handle your brand new convertible.  Your old girlfriend that went to college was good at driving the car, but you or she never drove on the highway because you were too afraid of getting into an accident or getting a ding on your brand new $50 million car.  She asked you nicely to drive the car on the highway a few times, but you said no because it was too dangerous.

But, now the summer is over and a cute new girl enrolls in your school.  She is smoking hot, but also comes to school driving a beat up blue and orange hatchback that looks like it drives like a dream and you know you have seen that car driving 65 on highway 40 last week.  How did she get that junk car to drive so well?  Before you can get up the nerve to talk to her, one of the other players on the football team asked her out and was able to get a first date with her.  Let’s call him Minn Johnson.

The football team dynamic was a whole different issue.  The football team was the most popular team in the school, repeatedly selling out the stadium and getting $2 billion rights to show the games on local access TV.  You were backup quarterback, although you thought yourself better than the starter.  Let’s call the starter, Seabass McGillicutty.  The 3rd and 4th string quarterbacks were San Smith and Ari Silver.  However, when the coach created a head to head skills competition for the right to start in the playoff game between yourself and Seabass, you lost.  Seabass started the playoff game and won it playing better than you have seen him play all year.  Seabass had a girlfriend and the two had been dating for several years, so you thought he would not get in the way of you dating the new girl.

Find out what happens, after the jump!

After you heard about the date, you took your chance to ask her out and surprisingly she said yes.  You guys talked and bonded and she even consented to a second date and this one on a weekend.  Huzzah!  You already got much further than Minn did.  Was it you?  Or did she see your car in the parking lot and want to drive it on the highway?  She was very good looking, but she had that way about her that maybe you thought she might be a little crazy.  Why did she leave her last school?  She had only said it involved a video taping and a really religious student.  Separate incidents, she said.  Don’t ever ask her again, she said.

You were ready for the second date and it went fairly well, you took her out to the nicest restaurant that you know of (it wasn’t even really that fancy), even though you met her at the restaurant and did not let her drive your car yet.  But, something seemed off.  You two didn’t hit it off as well as you did on the first date.  Her mind seemed elsewhere.

You found out what that elsewhere was the next day at school when the whole school knew because the school information nerd Mort Christansen told every one that Seabass broke up with his girlfriend this morning before school and had already asked out the new girl.  Even further, you found out that they had been texting since gym class yesterday afternoon.  Even before your date!  Was she even texting Seabass during your date?

What the heck is going on here?  Is the new girl really in to you and just using Seabass to get you to take her to nicer restaurants and let her drive your car on the highway?  Is she worth it even though there are some whispers she went crazy at her last high school?

Find out next tim in the next installment of “As the High School Turns”!

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3 Responses to “As the High School Turns (A Metaphor)”

  1. RonWinkler says:

    If she won’t take our car out now, maybe we can tell her we get our car a new set of wheels.

  2. knoxfan says:

    My wife is glued to soaps all day, every day, year in and year out. Do I have to endure it here on my rough and tumble NFL quest?? GOD! KILL ME NOW AND STOP THE SUFFERING!!

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