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0-3 Rams – Where Does This Leave Us?

Ok, let’s just lay this out here. Marc Bulger is done. He has been sliced, diced, deep fried, stir fried, baked, shaked, flam bayed, puréed, broiler, chewed up and let’s face it… spit out. I don’t know the man at all, but professionally I have never liked him. I have always thought it was a hug mistake to replace Kurt Warner with Bulger (of course I wasn’t super happy when they replaced Trent Green with Warner). I have always thought he has been cursed with good stats. He looks good, but he can’t win. I can’t say he has no heart, because he does have a heart to get sacked year after year. But he does not have a heart to win or to lead men through adversity. And while I am getting things off my chest I never liked Mike Martz. How many stupid goal line plays can a man call? How many times have I sat at home screaming at my TV?

More after the jump!

Ok, so his shoulder is bruised. Let’s just go ahead and say that’s the problem (although the look on his face when he went to the sidelines in the first quarter was not one of physical pain). Oh, it was a painful look. “Wanna get away?”

So now give me the immensely mediocre Kyle Boller. Please, please, please. This guy, formerly of the Baltimore Ravens, hasn’t had a winning season since 2004 (hasn’t played an entire year since then either), but I love him. A quarter back who blocks for his running back. Awesome! Plus, the man is filled with energy and courage. That’s all I really want. Maybe a little magic too (maybe we could cut a few locks from Favre’s hair and throw it into Boller’s morning smoothie). Ok, truth be told, I want a high passer rating, a guy who can scramble when he get’s in trouble, and most importantly a guy who can actually get the ball to his receiver. Is that too much to ask? I mean that is at the very top of his job description right?

Let’s see… Steven Jackson. Have you warmed up yet buddy? Isn’t that what pre-season is for? But we can’t really play him in preseason because he might get injured. Makes sense except that he has been mostly useless until this past Sunday. Finally, he gets a 100 yard rushing game. This is good. I have a question for the man… Steven, have you looked at your team lately? The best of all your obscure receivers is injured, your starting quarterback has been hit by 1 to many Mac trucks, and then there is you. Jackson received an over $11 million dollar signing bonus just last year and we still need to shove Vivarin down his throat. Let’s go buddy!

On the defensive side, the guy who replaced solid veteran linebacker Chris Draft, David Vobora, has been suspended for use performance enhancing drugs (Vobora was suspended). Rams management, if you are not feeling publicly embarrassed, you should be. You cut a seasoned and highly serviceable linebacker because he wouldn’t take a $300k salary cut. What were you thinking you tight wads? He is not even close to being one of your highest payed players. Why don’t you suck $300k out of Bulgers 2008 $19 million? What did Draft make? 900k? Shame on you! And also on the defensive side, now we are also getting hit with injuries (Jason Smith). This sucks.

Here is my plan for next week’s game against the SF 49niners. I say we call up Mike Singletary and ask him if we can practice with them all week. We’ll give them the game so that is cool. We just want to hang out with winners for a week. We want him to yell at us, to send us the locker when we act ridiculous (which has been all season), and we want to suck some energy from his soul. I am serious (not really). Maybe Spag could spend the week with Mike and his family. Maybe Spag’s home life isn’t too fulfilling. It would be good for him to have some home cooked meals, enjoy some old thrilling football stories, and for him to get on his knees and pray to God that his team can get better. Because that is what it is going to take. Divine intervention.

Seriously though, let’s get smart. With all the deficiencies our team has, we have weapons. We have superstars and we have some very bad men on our team. The people involved in this organization are highly paid professionals. Competent men. Pull your heads out gentleman. Let’s get this ship righted. You want to hear something positive? Then go to the Colts web site. Until we get a win, let’s just suck it up and smell the ugly truth.

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One Response to “0-3 Rams – Where Does This Leave Us?”

  1. dbcouver says:

    I have never agreed with a post more than this take on Bulger. I always thought the early success and failure of Bulger vs Warner was more due to the presence and absence at the time of Pace.

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