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Evidence of Football

So, is it football season yet? The NBA playoffs sustain my pulse, but soon that will be over. MLB is still in a very trivial stage of the season. I fear right after the NBA playoffs ‘reading season’ will materialize. The time of year when I am forced to pretend I am a multifaceted individual.

Instead of wandering towards my favorite brand of ice cold lite beer, I venture down the Chardonnay isle. I muse, “Something light and sweet to go along with my study of Tolstoy’s view of history. Or, perhaps I’ll choose a nice Pinot, while I listen to Hemmingway discourse on the raw beauty of bull fighting.”

But who am I kidding. Sitting at the wine bar discussing the ramifications of Hedgehog-ism vs Fox-ism, I am choking inside. The conversation turns to Nietzsche. My colleague blathers something about the notion that God is dead.

This is all I can stand. “God is well and alive”, I exclaim. “Do you know why?” I pant. “Because the National Football League’s 2009 season start is just around the corner. September 10th to be precise! Does God slumber? Perhaps (although I think he might be interested in and even get a laugh out of watching the Lakers progress through the playoffs). But certainly he is alive”, I finish.

I burst forth from the wine bar. My head swirls. I MUST FIND EVIDENCE OF FOOTBALL. Driving towards home and the NFL network, I scan the radio for local sports talk shows. An interview with Steve Young, Michael Strahan, or even Mercury Morris is all I need. Is that too much to ask?

I pull into the corner liquor store mere blocks from my home. My breathing has quickened and my pace is frantic. I rush to the cooler and find the silver bullet. The blue Rocky Mountains are beautiful and merely touching the can sets is motions millions of neural transmitters. An image flashes in my mind.

“Marc Bulger is stepping back to pass…he has Tory Holt sprinting down the sideline…” I move towards the cashier my pace now steadied. I muster the energy to look up and am rewarded with the sight of the 2009 NFL season schedule taped to the wall directly behind the cashier. That’s when I know it. I am going to be ok. The NFL Network will get me through. A quick prayer of thanks and I am on my way.

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