Bleacher Report: I Hate You

So, a few days ago, a Rams article was posted over at Bleacher Reportwhich was so bad, it needed to be analyzed line by line because as a whole it was incomprehensible.  Head over there if you want to read the whole thing.  As always, the text in blockquotes and my responses in bold.

The title of the post is: “Marc Bulger has no more excuses for losing”.  That’s fine.  I would imagine after the 2009 season – if Marc Bulger has a bad season, he would be out of excuses.  But, at this point, injuries and a terrible offensive line over 2 seasons is a pretty good excuse for me.  So, that aside, let’s get to the text.  All the fun is after the jump!

Before I begin to about the quarterback situation, I want to give you a metaphor on how I see the current situation of this team.

If you have to compare this team to a building that has been on fire. Say the fire started at 9:00 p.m. and ended at 3:00 a.m. For three hours until sunrise, you inspect the damage in the dark with artificial lights.  But in the daylight, you get a true picture of the damage.

Ok, I don’t really understand the metaphor, but I will give you points for trying the metaphor route.  I love metaphors, so I’ll let this pass.

The Rams had been slowly destroyed by fire, but at beginning of the last season, the destruction stopped when Chris Rosenbloom took over the team.

Ok, first and foremost – the owner of the St. Louis Rams is Chip Rosenbloom.  I don’t know if you know him better and he likes to be called “Chris”, but I doubt it.  It’s Chip.  Also, Chip Rosenbloom is no  Jerry Jones-like super owner.  And he only took over the team because his mother Georgia Frontiere died.  Chip seems to be a good guy by all accounts and wants to bring the Rams back to prominence to honor his late mother.

Yet, you could not assess the true damage because you had been kept in the dark because Linehan and his inept assistants kept you that way with Shaw and Zygmunt’s help.

Gasp!  I agree, however, Shaw and Zygmunt were not really and officially pushed aside until Billy Devaney was promoted to General Manager at the end of the 2008 season.  So, “the fire” or “the darkness” continued until after 2008.  And the real hero of this metaphor should be Billy Devaney who would with Chip Rosenbloom to tighten the front office, end the in-fighting and improve the Rams roster.  But, yet Billy gets no mention in this article.

Under daylight we can take a true look at the Rams quarterback situation, or better yet, at Marc Bulger.     

 Let us look at Chris Rosenbloom and the remainder of the $56 million contract.  That clock on the contract sounds like it may be winding down for Marc Bulger. 

Of all the “situations” on the Rams team, I would think starting quarterback is the most stable.  The Rams have a guy in Marc Bulger who used to be a top-flight quarterback when he had the cast around him.  They have a lot of money invested in him, so he is staying as their quarterback.  I think more attention should be paid to the offensive line, wide receiver, cornerback or linebacker.

The lack of attention on the offense excuses for Mr Bulger may be coming to an end.

I’m unclear what this means.  The “lack” of attention on the excuses?  The lack of excuses?  The lack of offense?  Ok, I’m done dissecting the grammar in this article, I don’t want to be here all day.

I want to start with the poor offensive line blocking.  They brought in Jason Brown from Baltimore to start at the center position.  This position had been a problem for several season well this acquisition move takes care of the problem.

The addition of Brown and added with Jacob Bell and last year’s draft choices will help the line. 

The passing and running attack will be helped with the addition of Karney from New Orleans.  He will be starting as a blocking fullback position.  Besides making holes for Steve Jackson, he can the line on passing downs.

Thank you for paying attention to the offensive line and fullback.  You are right that these additions should help the Rams offense.

The offensive system has been simple to either run or pass the ball.   Coach Spagnoulo does want a complicated offense with funny names.  

“Has” been simple?  Not with Al Saunders as offensive coordinator.  And Marc Bulger just gave an interview a few days ago that said that the new Rams offense is the MOST complicated he has ever had.  And all offenses use “funny” names.  It’s not Madden.  These are football players and all they have to learn is “Tango” means block left, and etc.

He just wants to move the ball.  You do that with players not plays or systems.

This system will be so simple that Brock Berlin will be able to handle it.

Wait.  I thought that we don’t use systems?  I’m confused.  I agree that players help the coaches implement their plans, but in the NFL, when the margin for error is so small – the coaches mean a lot.  Their ability to adapt their game plan means a lot.  And I don’t understand the infatuation with Brock Berlin on Bleacher Report.  He is not a starting quarterback in the NFL and never will be.  He is not the next Marc Bulger (I don’t know if you think this is a good thing).  He’s Brock Berlin and I hope the Rams pick a better 3rd quarterback in the draft with more upside.

I hope that I made it pretty simple that Marc Bulger, like Scott Linehan, has been bought notice in a subtle way—win or else.   

Linehan was told very UN-subtly that he would win or lose his job.  Bulger has not been told any thing like that.

Now to go back to looking at this team in the daylight.

Wait.  I thought we were already in the daylight.  What happened?  Are we back in the night now?

This team has the talent at some level to turn it around may be not the way Miami did last year.  The talent has been there, but because of poor ownership, foolish management, and inept coaching the talent got lost. 

Let’s see.  I would argue the Rams have been one of the least talented teams in the NFL over the past two years.  The foolish management has caused the Rams talent drain on the field.  Also, I have a hard time believing that poor ownership because of the failing health of Georgia Frontiere caused the problems the Rams had on the field. 

We need to keep an open mind to what see before us now, not the past. Accept the fact that the Super Bowl or playoffs loom in this team future, but a stronger course to get there.

I agree that the Rams fans should look forward instead of backwards.  However, the Rams have plotted a very strong course and I would disagree that the Rams need an even stronger course.  And I will accept that the Super Bowl is in the Rams future, but I just have to get out of this darn night-time fire first!  Or, is it daylight?

I will continue the tradition of taking down the Bleacher Report as long as they continue to produce terrible, inaccurate articles.


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5 Responses to “Bleacher Report: I Hate You”

  1. Eric nagel says:

    Chris Rosenbloom?

  2. Tom S. says:

    Wow. Did the author of the “Bleacher Report” actually finish 3rd grade? There are so many grammatical errors in the original text, I need a Babel fish to understand the thing.

    “The offensive system has been simple to either run or pass the ball. Coach Spagnoulo does want a complicated offense with funny names.”

    Later, this guys says that the offense is so simple that Brock Berlin could run it. So…does that mean he meant that the offensive system has been SIMPLIFIED and that Spags does NOT want a complicated offense?

    Besides, Bulger never had a problem understanding the “complicated” West Coast offense that Mike Martz ran, and when Al Saunders came back to STL, he installed the same type of offense. If anything, learning the new Cincinnati offense will make things complicated in the short-term for Marc. Either way, he’s got to stop staring down his primary receiver and throwing off his back foot, or it won’t matter what playbook the Rams use.

    By the way, if you’re confused by my use of the West Coast to describe Martz, and the Cincinnati offense for what we will have now, I apologize. But I’ve read far too many Paul Zimmerman articles to do otherwise.

  3. adieuordie says:

    I think the author wrote the article in German, and then ran it through an online translator.

  4. [...] article is no where as bad as my previous Bleacher Report takedown, but I needed to “defend the shield” and represent for the [...]

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